To: You.

(my first try at transparency, an actual letter I wrote to you that’ll i’ll need send)

Dec 12, 2015.

I did not choose to leave. I simply chose to be distracted, long term. You walked out of my emotional need when I needed you most. Needing you, isn’t that a strange concept to think about? Needing another? At that moment when I opened your last email I realized how dependent I was of you. Yet another dependency that I was not willing to commit to because well, I’m stubborn and for other obvious reasons, commitment is something I can do well without. I won’t commit to dependencies, I won’t commit to our temporaries, I won’t commit to wanting you only in spite of loneliness & our unfavorable ‘what if’s’. I wanted you back. I was lonely & you were too and we knew each other all to well. We were committed to the falsification of what our long term infidelities and dishonesties created we forgot that we could never actually make this work & why would we want to. You must’ve forgot who I was, or you may haven chosen to ignore who i’ve become, either way, understand that when I chose my way, I chose it a part from you. I don’t think you’re a man (YET) and it isn’t your fault just so as it isn’t my fault that I was not a women to you in a sense that I refused to submit myself entirely. You didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to be here. Maybe, you left because it was too difficult. I can admit that what I am going through you cannot understand. Many don’t. I found a temporary dependency again, and again received loneliness in my venerability. But, it’s distraction has aimed my focus in other aspects. Everything presented has taught me something. Everything has happened as it should, I trust.  I’ve let you go and I love you. But I now understand that we have shit to do, separately.

To: You.

Spending Time the Andretti Way…

[Inspired by one of my favourite, “How to be Parisian Whever You Are”]

HOW TO SPEND A ANDRETTI DAY [preferably on a Sunday]

[10:00a.m.] Sleep in

[10:15a.m.] Don’t Eat Breakfast. It’s a nice day so walk to your cafe and indulge in a venti double shot espresso. Your current read accompanies you: “The Lives of the Muses,” by Francine Prose. *your barista also offers you a venti pumpkin spice on the house 🙂

[11:45a.m] Get distracted. International conversations with someone who you adore while doodling in your journal about your own next endeavor abroad.

[1:03p.m.] You’re late to Hot Yoga, forget your yoga mat, and there’s no parking. Decide and promise yourself again, you’ll participate tomorrow. But probably won’t.

[1:18p.m.] You’re home. Roommate is gone so you pour yourself champagne despite how early it is, listen to Kelela replayed, and check your emails. It’s Seoul Fashion Week and you are invited to a private afterparty, but can’t afford a plane ticket so you forward everything to your Korean friend, Subin Kim and thank her for taking your place. [yeah right, lol. I’m actually disappointed lol]

[Sometime between 2-3p.m.] Apply Jo Malone before going anywhere, especially to the nape of your neck and your wrist. Without makeup but your hair at it’s best, head to the the grocery store. List: Pinot Noir, Pesto, Olive Oil, Fettucini, and Milano Double Chocolate Cookies 🙂 Because, you actually don’t feel like spending more than $20.

[4:29p.m.] Realize that, against all odds, you’ve fallen in love even though that’s simply impossible.

[5:00p.m.] Decide your going to take a foreign language so you download helly french iPhone apps and dedicate atlas ten minutes to it before giving up. French vowels alone will intimidate you lol.

[5:32p.m.] Completely spaz because you forgot you had a Visual Design Media midterm that’s due at 7p.m.

*put it off for tomorrow & write up an extensive email explaining some made up circumstance that prohibits you from completing the assignment. Hopefully Cassandra buys it.

[8:p.m.] Listen to the Patriots and Colts game via Radio while enjoying a glass of red wine & cooking your favorite dish :Pesto Fettucini 🙂

[11:04p.m.] Make an extensive to-do list and promise you’ll pay all your bill by the end of the week, if you get around to doing it.

[11:47p.m.] Promise yourself you’ll do something fun this week. Maybe visit some family or indulge in this season pumpkin picking.

Fall asleep on FaceTime with your lover and let your battery be the only reason why the call disconnects.

Spending Time the Andretti Way…

22 Random Things I learned at Twenty-Two…

It’s July, my favorite month of the year, almost my new year. And in relevance to my upcoming twenty-third birthday I decided to share some personal testimonies from this past year.

1.Make More Effort & Get Out Your Comfort Zone

2.You’ll Exhaust Your Tolerance For Relationships That Do Not Serve You.

3. It’s Okay To Admit, Your’e Not Okay. 

4. There’s A Difference Between Being Spiritual and Religious: & I’m tired of being judged for it. No, me being in college does not make me a hippy *rolls eyes* I have my own relationship with God, thank you.

5. Communication Is the Foundation: Should be number one. Let’s not play guessing games, lets talk about it. Why is it such a taboo?

6. Taste Buds. You’ve Changed: I’m a lover for red wine now, strange ; )

7. If You Must, Hoard Contacts: My biggest change.  use to be a social introvert, maybe I still am, occasionally. But now, whenever I get the chance, I spark up conversations because I am genuinely interested in others stories. I get their info (insta, email, #) Yadda, Yadda… Guess who has the best international group chats & friends asking when she’ll come visit ; )

8. What Others Think About Me Is None of My Business: Look, i genuinely do not care. That’s It. Those who love me, are truly invested in me.

9. Passiveness Wins Every Time: Who looses the argument and who leaves an argument more satisfied. The one who screams and fights you all the way, or the individual who stays calm, listens and apologizes? What’s the reason for all your wasted energy, i’m cool : ) When you get angry, speak softly, they’ll listen harder.

10. Form Good Habits, Early! Read “The Power of HABIT: Why We Do What We Do In Life And Business,” By Charles Duhigg.

11. Don’t Make Yourself Smaller For Others To Understand: I guess this is the true art of being yourself in all circumstances.

12. Being Honest With Yourself: We often project illusions and create facades for the things we really want in our lives. Instead of spending energy painting over what already stands, spend time manifesting those wants into your life!

13. Be More Frugal With Your Energy: Not everyone’s intentions are good or as clear as you would like them to be. Devote time into improving relationships. Collaborate collectively and focus creativity towards your own unmet goals. Retain efforts for someone who truly intrigues you. Delegating where you energy goes doesn’t make you a selfish person, it makes you a balanced one. I don’t owe an explanation for me taking care of myself.

14. Make Time For Your Friends.

15. Avoid Being Receptive to Negative Energy: Introducing negative energy into your world says more about you than you think. Like attracts, Like. Positivity attracts, Positivity and Negativity attracts, you get the point.

16. Do What The Hell You Want: As long as most of life is together, please don’t judge me for the things I enjoy doing. Your perception of societal norms has no effect on the way I live my free-sprited lifestyle choice ; ) I’m healthy, I’m Graduating, and I have a large amount of those who support me. We have to learn this!

17. I’m Only twenty-three, It Will Get Better: Patience.

18. There’s a Reason They Do As They Do: I don’t know why I’m so intrigued with the human psyche, but I always enjoyed the concept of learning why some of my friends, those who oppose me, and family think and act as they do. Take a moment to see what their side is, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two and save yourself the argument or friendship.

19. Take Chances: On your opportunities, on your love life, on your budget plan (that may not be as affective as you would like to admit). Take that trip, tell that person how you really feel : ) Whats’ the worst that may happen? Your’e told no? Boo.

20. My Past relationship’s Assisted Me In Becoming The Lady I Am Today, Thank You. 

21. I’m An Artist: & So are you. The art of inspiring others whether that be through your writing, paint/drawings, poetry, music etc. That’s passion. And we need more, I need more.

22. Speak EVERYTHING Into Existence: Never believed in this until recently. Your lips are always pressed against the universe’s ear. It hears and see’s and it gives back.

good energy, spontaneity, & future success.

22 Random Things I learned at Twenty-Two…

Codryo: Raf Simons Hallucinatory Collection

French Magazine, “Codryo,” released a lo-fi hallucinatory, haunting bass-heavy video showcasing illustrations of one of my favorite street-goth designers, Raf Simons for his Fall/Winter 2015 Collection. Channeling the capricious nature of Simons nature in design, the video warps you into a nightmarish realm where wandering models are warned against a dark forthcoming by an omnipresent narrator.

I can’t get enough of Raf, check out the designers latest academia-inspired campaign here on STYLE.COM 
Codryo: Raf Simons Hallucinatory Collection

5 Quick Easy Steps to Improve Your Home…

Feliz Verano!

I decided to do Friday a little differently today with a quick, “How To Guide.” With many of my friends, and myself moving on from college and into new homes, I decided to share with you some affordable ways on how to upgrade any new place 🙂

Although, I do not study interior designing, I think I have great taste, so i’ve been told. And as a woman or man in their early or late twenties, your home reflects who you are to company. Let’s not give them the wrong impression.

1) ART: The most important. Please do not neglect all those little details that compound to make a home what it is. No one wants a home full of bare walls and Art today has become one of the highest investments on the market. To some, buying art work can be tricky. Many complain about where to find art, what piece will fit where, etc. The trick, if you are on a budget, is to find a art ledge, find a couple. Go to your nearest art galleries, photography shops (black and white photography is my favorite and the easiest) and select a few pieces that stick out to you and prop them on the self, on the floor, or on a mantle piece.

*Invest in one piece that adds a pop of color to your living room, or bedroom.

(dislike these pieces but you get a feel for the art edges)

2) A Good Mattress and Bed Sheets: I can’t stress this enough. Enough with the childish Walmart patterns and thin spring mattresses. This is an investment that will last and it is the first thing I notice. There’s no need to invest in high-thread-count, although they’re nice. I recommend natural fibers such as cotton and linen. I prefer white sheets, but to add a pop of color go with solids, no patterns unless they are faint and simple. Also, three sets of bedsheets will be just fine: Bed, Closet, Wash.

*If your mattress is stiff, buy a thick mattress pad. This you can find anywhere from Walmart to a little more pricy with Safavieh Homes.

3) Plants: Ok, many may not have that special sense in order to care for plants, but that’s no excuse. My roommate livened our place up with numerous amounts of “imitation.” 🙂 Plants add color, character and life. I recommend Monstera, or Jade Plants. These are easy for those who live without a natural green thumb and look nice on any coffee table or book shelf. Ruben Tree’s are my favorite because it’s easy and can grow to 8 ft tall. If you do not want it to grow to that height, simply pinch them at any long stems.

*For the women, flowers such as, Peonies, Tulips, and Orchids add much flare and charisma to dinning tables, bed side and coffee tables. These are a little more high maintenance, but worth it.

4) Coffee Tables filled with rare, vintage, good reads is the second item i notice! (I’ll judge you lol) I’m a collector of good reads so I may be a little biased. But I’ve noticed that when I’ve invited people over to my home, while they waited for me to get ready, they looked through my magazines and books with great interest. The easiest and affordable recommendation would be to stop by Urban Outfitters. Their selection is amazing. I’ve bought inkblot test’s, quiz booklets, fashion dictionaries, vintage magazines, etc. The best books are those picture books. For a coffee table, people won’t invest much time in reading. Find something that’s filled with great photo editorials like the Sartorialist, Humans of New York, or my new favorite, Kim Kardashian: Selfish.

5) Good Scents. Ok, this may also be as important as my other two favorites and should be the first thing everyone notices upon arriving to someones new home. First the home should be well kept and organized. But it should also smell good 🙂 My favorite scents of course would be Jo Malone London Peony & Blush Suede Home Candle. You can find this at Bloomingdales or Saks but it may run you well above your budget. For those on a budget, I highly recommend Bath and Body Works. Their three-wic candles last and are affordable.

*For men I recommend Bath and Body’s Wood Scents such as Mahogany Teakwood. It won’t run you more than $20 depending on the size.

Last Minute Additions: Do not forget, NO PLASTIC PLATES, UTENSILS, GLASSWARE! Plates should always match, but mix up sets. Glassware should always match, including bar tools; shaker and strainer, etc. And trim down the number of things you have into fewer, nicer pieces. Go for a minimalistic approach, it proves maturity 🙂

5 Quick Easy Steps to Improve Your Home…

Thursday Throwback: Hussein Chalayan

His aim: To evoke a leisures, civilized lifestyle –or as he put it, “The fantasy we all have of being able to not work.”

Hussein reinstated minimalism with his stripped-down jackets and vest with dropped, sculpture lapels and cut-out zones for an elegant, adult audience, somewhere warm and expensive 🙂

My favorite additions were the cartwheel straw hats, integral flipped-down sun visors. The white jersey gowns with surreal ceramic fists clothing the drapery.

Simple-chic without being “too lady,” –a fine line, walked well !

Check out the collection below.

Thursday Throwback: Hussein Chalayan

Thursday June 25, 2015.

This is all too familiar. When you invest your time & energy into someone, you also invest in their baggage, their insecurities and ego. You invest in their faults, their achievements, and etc.

When becoming honest with yourself becomes a chore. Attempting to differentiate between your wanting for companionship and your need for honesty and respect.

Why has communication become such a taboo amongst young men and women? Why do many of us feel that it is too difficult to open up to someone, no filter, in a calm and direct manner? A simple, “Hey, this is what I need from you,” whether that be romantic or not, and be givien a response that allows for options. An option to stay, an option to work together,  an option to love, or an option to leave.

Are we so hesitant to learn the truth? Does not knowing really ease your insecurities? Feelings become deceiving, being honest with self may seem tedious when you want but know you don’t need. Why are so many willing to jeopardize their sense of self for companionship? Jeopardize the feelings for others or towards others for self doubt?

Is it because it’s easier? Explaining that your’e fine?

I’ve had this discussion with my girlfriends for the past couple of weeks now. Honesty and communication really is all the credibility we place upon ourselves and others to ensure trust.

It’s okay to admit to yourself you are not fine, that you are no where near where you want to be and that maybe, the man you are seeing is not the one. Take self-criticism to the chin, as my ex would say , and go forward 🙂

If you are feelings this, you’ll understand below…

Thursday June 25, 2015.

PEGGY GOULD INTERVIEW: My muse, editor Haper’s BAZAAR Korea, freelance stylist, and DJ.

As many of you may know, I attended Fashion Week Seoul ( South Korea ) this past March as a Fashion and Life-style Blogger. The experience was as expected, nothing less than liberating and influencing in regards to me finding my own passions in going forward with graduating and continuing my influences through my writing.

But this post isn’t about what I learned on the trip, it’s about who I met while abroad. During Fashion Week I met so many beautiful, energetic individuals who all shared one common factor, they were all extremely fashionable, non-trendy, & eager to network with those they’ve never seen before.

Although my first show, one of my most anticipated shows that I’ve had the opportunity in attending, was missed due to my translator and I having difficulty in navigating around Seoul’s metropolitan area (a cab to the bus, to another bus, then after I got annoyed, hopped off the bus and walked) I literally bumped into my current muse; Peggy Gould, walking out in head to toe HIECH ES HIECH. She was accompanied by (instagram)  @Jungnam_Bae (a Korean Man with amazing bone structure) and @Dshewaspretty (a model & tattooist who I am currently also obsessing over)

(My muse, freelance stylist, illustrator, DJ (‘Peggy Gou’) and London correspondent editor for Harper’s BAZAAR Korea) I’ve had the fine opportunity in getting an interview with her during one of the show’s we attended. I suggest you visit her INSTAGRAM page, it’s a daily reminder for myself to continue with my travels and create influencing content for others who follow me 🙂

Also, while reading this, I suggest you check out her SOUNDCLOUD 

(this interview has been edited)

My readers would like to know first and importantly who is Peggy Gould? What is it that you do and how you started?
I am a fashion, music and arts enthusiast. I currently work as editor for Harper’s BAZAAR Korea. I am also a blogger and DJ. I am from Korea, but I travel most of the time, here there, everywhere. I kind of stumbled upon this, I just do what I love. I guess that’s how I got started.
How would you describe your fashion style? Music style? 
Many say it’s in between street and highnend. I like the mix, I think that’s the best way to explain my everyday style. Check out my tumblr, there you can see [laughs]
When traveling, what influences your creativity regarding music, illustration, or fashion?
Everything around me influences me. It influences everything that I do. What I see, what I hear. It’s all very important to me. Visual perspective’s are the most important attributes to me. I get inspiration and influence on things that I have never seen before or things that I have never heard before. When traveling, the ease of a river, animals, individuals that I meet. The smell and rhythm of morning rituals from other cultures really inspire my work.
What sets Korean fashion apart from New York, Paris, London, and Milan? 
To be completely honest, I am not a big fan of Korean fashion. This is one reason why I moved to London to study fashion and now i’m in Berlin learning music. Fashion in Korea can be too trendy at times. Many here follow trends rather than finding their individuality and what they can afford. I mean, it’s changing. Korea is now getting into breaking old traditions so we will see with moving forward. I am very impressed with this year’s fashion week though. Very good turnout.
Any words of advice for those pursuing their dream in the Fashion, Music, or Travel. 
I did an interview with Paul Smith (Fashion Designer) two years ago and he told me that people need to be aware of what level they are on. Not everyone is moving at the same pace, and it is ok to remind yourself of that fact. I completely agree, I don’t think I know my level and limits sometimes, but once I realized it, I was able to break free of a lot of self criticism. I know a lot of people may say this but it’s true, understand your limitations, be aware of the levels that you are on because in regards to being in the fashion world, I don’t think being yourself is easy. There are too many eyes on you and too many who have to much to say. Confidence is key!
(one word or one sentence)
Favorite Show @ Fashion week Seoul Korea : Heich Es Heich
DREAMD: A city everyone needs to visit at least once & what should they do while there: Bali hell yes [smiles]
DREAMD: On you’re off time, you: listen to music!
DREAMD: Proudest Moment In Your Life: When I got the job I wanted, totally unexpected. I played for  Mercedes-Benz conference auto china show and geneva show
DREAMD: You are passionate about: music & travel
DREAMD: You are most happiest when you are: With people I love
DREAMD: Most Favorable/ Memorial issue for Harper? I don’t think I have one yet but I can say, as I mentioned already, I  enjoyed interviewing Paul Smith 2 years ago
DREAMD: Best thing about your job? I don’t get too much pressure. I really enjoy what I do at the moment. Isn’t that what it’s suppose to be like [laughs & shrugs].
DREAMD: A quote or words to live by to pass on to another: “Nothing will last very long , when u suffer/ or you are experiencing hard times, these moments do not last long but at the same time when you are happy, remember this might not last long either so you might as well enjoy every moment of your life. Im still learning how to take rare feelings and moments too!
PEGGY GOULD INTERVIEW: My muse, editor Haper’s BAZAAR Korea, freelance stylist, and DJ.

Pacific Standards.

Hey everyone. Real quick, yes i’ve been gone far to long, but i promise there are reason to this that you will look forward to 🙂
What I have started to pick up on my own lately is that when one picks up a habit, a great habit, you create opportunities for yourself. No matter how small, it could be picking up that book your friend recommended you read, or creating an outlet influenced by your passions. Whatever that habit be, emphasize and build on that.
I recently went on a study abroad trip to Seoul, Korea and Tokyo. Why? everyone asked. My answer at the time was incredibly mediocre and ego driven, “Because everyone else is going to Paris, England or the Caribbean.”
I wanted something more, something different. The adrenaline rush I got from stepping off that first two-hour train ride out from my hotel located in  Minato,Tokyo into Kamakura, Japan was liberating.
It’s safe to say, the habit i picked up is traveling. Traveling into the depth of the world many don’t have actual beliefs that they will ever make it to, because for what? Why go to Seoul Korea?
I found out the most intimidating thought is getting over the belief that “One Day You’ll Do It” The thought of thinking about where i want to go, and just take the opportunity.
I almost felt like I had no business in going. In a class filled with others I believed to be over qualified for the position and here I am with all my passion but not a lot of great paperwork or experience to back that up.
I took a chance, to influence myself, i took a chance to influence others who would also appreciate. I mean really appreciate.
Those creatives, those who imagine life outside of its confinements. Either that being your student debt, your upbringing in not knowing much other than the city or state you come from, or just mental confinements of having so much ambition with little motivation.
I say this from my heart, I love this liberating feeling and i never write anything unless I have experience it for self.
There’s more to this. There’s tropical spiritual awakenings many of you are awaiting, influences in fashion from countries that would change your perceptions on style and respect, there’s food you’d never try on regular circumstance but you will because you’re in a country where you need to feel every edge of its culture, there are views that will make you tear up and have you stuck for moments while you soak up the sun in appreciation and there are people who you will become lifelong friends with (as long as you stay in contact via Facebook messaging )
I made this post to inspire. I recently got off the phone with my great Friend Jada 🙂 and sometimes you just stumble on what your purpose it.
Mine is to influence, inform, and motivate those to pursue a life in travel, reading, and enlightenment.
And if your reading this blog, surprisingly not interested in none of those, I hope to inspire you to be great overall, in what ever it is that you do an be a great person in the process.
I am currently undergoing a remodeling temporary hiatus. I will still be blogging, but will get a new look, name and its content will be more organized.
I finally believe in my focus for having this blog and i appreciate all my loyal readers in coming along in this journey.
Aventure: Tokyo to Kamakura. Four different trains, a bus and a uber due to my frustrations in getting lost on my way back. More on my actual experience at the Temple in my next post’s to come 🙂

Designers and Show Executives were more than accommodating. I am sincerely thankful for their great hospitality and respect

Aside from working, we found time to meet the locals in Roppongi Tokyo. No english, basic sign language and no’s, yes’, and more shots were all the words we needed to know.

Met the beautiful Trang Le,the president of Vietnam international Fashion Week , EP of Vietnam next top model and EP of Project runway Vietnam. Hopefully I’ll See you next year at Vietnams fashion week

Here, you’ll find live squid. Only rule to the method of ingestion lol is to quickly swallow it or the suckers will grab hold once it’s in your mouth. MY ONLY REGRET IN JAPAN: Not trying this.

Seoul Friends made through reporting. The toughest part of every trip is trying to convince yourself you are coming back to see them, and that their good bye’s are temporary because Facebook messaging and iMessages don’t do you any justice when you miss their viewpoints and differences in culture.

New post’s coming soon, If you’d like to email me feel free to shoot off ideas 🙂
Pacific Standards.